index 3732bc6..5e14a54 100644
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ the core idea: every conversation is one of three types — practical ("what's t
**key takeaway:** before trying to solve someone's problem, figure out if they're asking for help or asking to be heard. matching the conversation type is more important than having the right answer.
### the 2-hour cocktail party — nick gray (2022)
-a step-by-step formula for hosting gatherings that build your network. the core insight: most people don't host because they think it has to be perfect. nick's format is deliberately low-effort — no cooking, 2-hour hard stop, structured icebreakers, name tags.
+a step-by-step formula for hosting gatherings that build your network. the core insight: most people don't host because they think it has to be perfect. this is the most practical guide to [[building-community|building community]] through hosting. nick's format is deliberately low-effort — no cooking, 2-hour hard stop, structured [[icebreakers]], name tags.
**the formula:**
- monday, tuesday, or wednesday evening (less competition for attendance)
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ the bible of relationship-building for ambitious people. ferrazzi's central argu
**key concepts:**
- the relationship action plan: systematically identify who you want to know and find ways to add value first
-- "pinging": regular, lightweight touchpoints (a relevant article, a congratulations note)
+- "pinging": regular, lightweight touchpoints (a relevant article, a congratulations note) — see [[relationship-maintenance]] for a modern system
- conference behavior: arrive early, stay late, follow up within 24 hours
**caveat:** heavy hustle-culture energy. filter for the structural advice and ignore the motivational filler.
@@ -59,7 +59,7 @@ the bible of relationship-building for ambitious people. ferrazzi's central argu
the meta-lesson: focus outward, not inward. most social anxiety comes from self-focus. shifting attention to the other person solves 80% of it.
### the art of gathering — priya parker (2018)
-the most thoughtful book on why most events fail. parker's argument: gatherings fail because hosts don't make choices.
+the most thoughtful book on why most [[event-formats|events]] fail. parker's argument: gatherings fail because hosts don't make choices.
**key principles:**
- decide why you're gathering before anything else. "because we always do" is not a reason.
@@ -81,12 +81,12 @@ the single best blog post on making friends as an adult. key frameworks:
the meta-insight: making friends is a skill, not a trait. you can get better at it through deliberate practice.
### the double opt-in intro — various
-before introducing two people, ask both if they'd like to be introduced. include context about why. never blind-cc someone into a connection they didn't ask for.
+the gold standard for [[introductions]]. before introducing two people, ask both if they'd like to be introduced. include context about why. never blind-cc someone into a connection they didn't ask for.
---
## what not to read
-**most "networking" books** — they frame relationships as transactions and optimize for quantity over quality. if the advice boils down to "collect business cards," skip it.
+**most "networking" books** — they frame relationships as transactions and optimize for quantity over quality. if the advice boils down to "collect business cards," skip it. for building connections in digital spaces, see [[online-community]].
**anything that promises "instant charisma"** — charisma is a byproduct of genuine interest in other people, confidence from competence, and presence. there's no hack.
\ No newline at end of file