19-06-11 Forms of Reappraisal

Category: Idea Lists (Upon Request)

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A nice reframe on emotional redirects.

If these can be installed as an instinctual pattern / mental habit / automatic response, you’ll live in a different emotional reality.

Cultures can be seen, in part, as bodies of shared emotional redirects. Memetically internalizing the forms of appraisal or notions of value from people around you is one important side of the emotional alignment that creates connection and shared state.

Depressingly in the literature, ‘positive reappraisal’ means making the negative positive, and ‘negative reappraisal’ means making the negative less negative. There is no term for making the positive negative, or making the negative more negative. I guess it’s out of the ‘well being institute’, where I shouldn’t expect them to feel the need to open access to the full range of possible emotions.

1. Beginner’s Mind / Learning Reappraisal
   1. What in them can you reach for in them, not quite fathom about them? What do you have to learn from them that hasn’t been learned as yet?
2. Objective Reappraisal
   1. What are the cold, hard results of their actions? How is the world a different place, if at all? If they hadn’t existed, what would the world be like?
3. Vulnerable Reappraisal
   1. Read / experience them as divulging what they say with heartfelt raw openness.
4. Submissive Reappraisal
   1. What are all of the ways in which I could never have done what they did, or in the way they did it? In what ways have they surpassed me?
5. Dominating Reappraisal
   1. What are all of the ways in which I’ve done things better and more impressive than each thing I see them as having done? In what ways have I surpassed them?
6. Honesty Reappraisal
   1. What parts of what they say are true? What parts are distorted?
7. Generator Reappraisal
   1. Why are they saying everything that they’re saying? What emotion, desire, or plan generated their behavior?
8. Admiration Reappraisal
   1. What is most worthy of admiration in them, or in what they’re doing, saying, or have done?
9. Gratitude Reappraisal
   1. In what ways am I smarter, stronger, truer, for having experienced them?
10. Alignment Reappraisal
11. Which parts of our value systems are most strongly reflected in one another?
12. Empathetic Reappraisal
13. Positive Reappraisal
14. Negative Reappraisal

Source: Original Google Doc