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+
+# networking as extraction
+
+*(common gotcha)*
+
+## what happened
+
+approaching every conversation thinking "what can this person do for me?" people can feel it, and they disengage.
+
+## why it's a gotcha
+
+transactional networking is obvious and repulsive. if every conversation you have is angled toward getting something — a referral, an intro, a job — people will avoid you. the irony is that generous networkers get more opportunities than extractive ones.
+
+## the fix
+
+lead with curiosity, not credentials. ask what they're working on. offer something useful — a relevant article, a connection to someone they should meet, genuine feedback on their project. the best networking doesn't feel like networking.
+
+## see also
+
+- [[how-you-introduce-yourself]] — lead with what you do, not what you want
+- [[not-following-up-within-48-hours]] — follow up with value, not asks
+- [[stay-on-admins-good-side]] — same "don't be transactional" principle
+- [[over-indexing-on-opinions]] — don't extract advice either
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