FOMO trap

what happened

i've always just been in the mindset of grab as many opportunities as possible. the anxiety when peers get opportunities you don't — internships, acceptances, features, followers.

why it's a gotcha

FOMO is about position, not growth. you see someone get an internship and feel behind, but you don't actually know what they're learning or whether it's relevant to your path. the comparison is based on what it looks like, not what it is — which is why it pairs so tightly with comparison-as-motivation. and the anxiety it creates makes you chase opportunities that don't align with what you actually want, or over-index on what respected people say you should do.

the fix

when you feel FOMO, ask: am i jealous of what they're learning, or what it looks like? if it's the latter, it's not worth your attention. the most successful builders you'll meet have a strange ability to ignore what everyone else is doing and just keep building. that's not confidence — it's clarity about what matters to them. figuring out what you actually want is the antidote. FOMO can also trigger the over-planning-trap — anxious planning as a coping mechanism for the feeling of falling behind.